Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
