your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
