She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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