If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize