we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
