I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
