There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wanna passion pit in your ass
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
