What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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