this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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