it was like his penis was on wheels.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
