Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
