please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Randomize
