my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
