Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
