Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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