becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
