Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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