Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize