im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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