ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
