i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
