she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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