It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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