well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
