Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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