OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
