i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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