I'm eating all of the evidence.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
