Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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