Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
