Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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