I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
