i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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