I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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