White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
