I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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