My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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