You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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