I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
