so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
