I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
