I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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