Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I know her cup size but not her name....
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
