just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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