Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize