You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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