i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
