i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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