Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
