You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Tornado booty call.. dedication
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
