dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
