your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
