i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
