dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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