just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
