**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
