You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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