i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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