bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
