ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You are the jesus of drinking
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
