If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
